Saturday, February 9, 2013



Everyone, I repeat everyone, goes through an awkward stage in his or her life. Mine though, lasted a little longer than most.

In fourth grade I hit puberty, fast.  I started to gain weight, and didn’t know how to react to my new developing self. It didn’t help that I was the most independent person in the world, and instead of letting my mother do my hair for me, like most little girls, I wanted to do it myself. My choice of hairstyle was a slicked back ponytail that accentuated my chubby cheeks. Talk about awkward.

I was friends with the “popular” girls but really didn’t fit in because I was not one who fit the “perfect” mold, or what I thought at the time was perfect. I was a size large, and started to look at myself with judging eyes because of the size of tee shirt I wore. 

Although others picked on me and occasionally called me names, I was my own worst critic. My fourth grade self wanted to lose weight, so my loving mother brought her nine year old daughter to Weight Watchers and for support promised to lose weight with me. Time passed and eventually grew out of my awkward stage of life. But I was left with those judging eyes and would pick out every imperfection when looking in the mirror.

It was not until after high school that I began to realize that there is more to life than looks and even the people who seem to fit in the “perfect” mold felt the same as I did.

I am not a shy or timid person, I have a booming personality and could make just about anyone laugh. In this aspect I am extremely confident. I have been left with major body issues though because I have compared myself to those who seem to fit the “perfect” mold. What I have realized is that there is no “perfect” mold when it comes to our bodies. We are all perfect, just in our own special ways.

As women, I believe we are our own worst critics. And it is because of the idea of a “perfect” that we put ourselves down. Today I can look in the mirror and pick our every pound that I need to lose or I can look and see what my Savior sees, a beautiful healthy, young woman that has so much to offer. I chose to try to see what He sees, and although sometimes it is hard, I know that as I do my judging eyes slowly start to fade.

1 comment:

  1. Jesus goggles. That is what one of my Sunday school teachers called it when you see yourself through Christ's eyes. Although our lesson pertained to marriage and seeing our spouse in a different light, it is important to see ourselves in that light as well.

    Emily Hone